I have decided I am ready to come back now. So here is a little sneak peak from behind the scenes of who I was, how everything has changed. Who I am becoming and where it all is going to go from here.
Amanda Hillsdale Toy & Intimacy Expert
I had long blonde hair back then, a bright & bubbling personality. I had a booming In Home and Online Business teaching Sexual Education to Women, Men and Couples in the Central Valley California area.
So much has changed, I would like to get a little personal here and share part of my journey with you today
In October of 2015 I decided I wanted to Change the world, yet in order to change the world I needed to start with myself. I began writing a book, I wanted a book that would touch the wounded hearts of women like me.
It started off as a messy story about my childhood, the lack of support I had from my own mother, and my discovery as a young woman in finding personal strength in life as I myself become a mother.
I will never forget the moment I finished writing my first 1,000 words. I bawled like a baby and experienced an emotional release from within for trauma I had spent so many years burring so very deeply. It was in this moment that I realized something needed to change in my personal life, at the very core of how I processed traumatic experiences. As I sat with this new information, I also began to take a hard look at my business plan. The way I sit and listen to the experiences of others and how my book and business needed to change in order to grow.
For many years, I had always worked weekend Adult Toy Parties with fun little themes. I would pass around the products and talk about the different types of stimulation they were made to create. Then towards the end of the party, I would sit in a private checkout room and connect with each person who entered.
We would talk about the areas in their own relationships where they felt something was missing. Sometimes it would be as simple as suggesting a date night with their partner and a pair of vibrating panties. While other times we would talk about the different parts of the vagina and clitoris while explaining the types of stimulation it may take to achieve an orgasm for the first time for some.
Spending quality time like this with my clients in a safe spaced allowed me the opportunity to learn about the lack of education we currently have present in society for women of all ages about self love, self intimacy, sex toys and our bodies. I started writing articles on Maintaining Intimacy in Your Marriage, along with articles like How to Choose the Right Vibrator for You. I had the honoring of appearing as an expert panelist for a show on Playboy Radio called Play With Me for nearly a year- maybe a year and half. While on this show we had many sex positive discussions about Safe Sex Practices, Communication in Relationships, STDS, Types of Sexual Relationships, Body Care, and of course Sex Toy Reviews. I LOVED my Job, and I STILL LOVE MY JOB!
As Life and Business continued to flourish, March 16,2017 I hit a hard knock. My Younger brother, my baby brother, the silly kid with the wild green eyes. The little trickster growing up decided to end his life far too young far too soon.
To lose a family member is always a hard knock regardless of how or why. SO many questions, so many what ifs?
It was too much, I could no longer keep juggling, family, community projects and work. So, I let everything fall down and crash to the floor. I decided to withdraw my involvement in all community projects, close down my business and focus every morsel of my energy into my family and on our big move to the PNW. I allowed myself something I had Never down before, grace. I gave myself grace, kindness and space to grieve freely and wildly for it all.
Why AM I telling you all of this today?
I have spent the last few years growing and building, evoking personally and professionally as a woman, wife mother bear, sister, girlfriend, business woman, and as a Wild Woman Archetype.
2018 Is the Year of Embracing the Beautiful Dance of a Wild Woman.
After spending much needed time with my family and reconnecting to myself, I have decided to rebuild my business. I am chaining my name and re-branding with a beautiful color palette that reflects my personality and the space where I have not only come from, yet I am still continuing to grow to.
Amanda Hillsdale Wild Woman
I show women who have experienced trauma that keeps them from fully enjoying sexual pleasure how to reconnect with their Inner Wild Woman, So they may experience sexual bliss.