Why Do Men and Women Experience Low Libido?

Why Do Men and Women Experience Low Libido?

This is a question I am asked often. Unfortunately it has many layers to it. Both sexes suffer from low libido for a multitude of reasons: Stress, Diet, Alcohol, Lack of Sleep, Lack of Sex, Lack of Body Confidence, Weight Gain, depression, Age.

To understand Why, we must first look at the factors we are currently facing in life.With so many strong triggers in life, Here are a few of the common questions I ask about when customer say they feel they Low Libido.

What do your sleeping habits look like?

Are you getting at least 8 hours of sleep during the night?

Do you consume alcohol?

Are you experiencing major stress?

Do you feel you are Depressed?

How do you decompress after a long day?

If you are experiencing any stress or feel like you might be suffering from depression I strongly urge to you speak with a therapist. They have so many great decompression techniques to really help you out.

What does your Diet Look like?

Are you eating healthy foods rich in iron, zinc, calcium, and vitamins A, B, D and E?

What if these are not the the root reasons for Low Libido? What if it is an intimacy issue? In most of the relationships I work with experiencing Low Libido, I have found that its a combination of the above stress plus a lack of intimate contact. Here is the second list of questions to think about:

How often do you compliment your partner?

How often do they complement you back?

How do they respond to your naked body?

How do you respond to your own naked body?

Do you feel emotionally loved in your current relationship?

I read an excellent book awhile back stating Foreplay was a Dirty Word.

This article suggest that foreplay is only used right before sexual intercourse.That couples only connect and seduce each other when they expect to have sexual intercourse. For most women we need much more than a thought about having a quickie to get excited. We need time to warm up and to feel emotionally connected to our partner. We need more than a grouping grab of the ass to excite us. We need to have our senses come alive with excitement so we are able to release the oxytocin, and dopamine into our bodies to trigger orgasms deep within our wombs. We need to be touched, nurtured, loved, and connected to our partners. I have a mixed comment I do see the value in needing foreplay. I think seduction of the mind is the most incredible way to stimulate a partner. I feel Foreplay before sex is still very much a necessity. You don’t just ram it in and hope for the best. Warm up have lubrication and enjoy sex for the stimulation of the body and the mind.

Arousal Creams and Gels are a wonderful product available in today’s market. For the ones I carry, On Arousal Oil is made by senuva has cinnamon and clove has its main ingredients. Cinnamon and Clove help to promote Blood circulation in the area it is applied to. This oil will get WARM on the skin. The reason it gets warm is because its pulling all of the blood cells it can to the 8,000 – 10,000 nerve endings found inside the clitoris.

On ICE Arousal Oil is another sensuva product which has the opposite temperature. By using menthol as the main ingredient. his products turns ice cold when applied to the skin. I Strongly recommend the ICE version for my older ladies experiencing menopause. This product will cool you off while helping your body to hydrate your vaginal canal with your own fluids.

I hope this email has helped to answer some questions you may have had. If not please reach out and let us work on this together to find out an answer for you.

xoxo

~Amanda

The Importance of Dating Yourself

The Importance of Date Yourself

I have a thought provoking question for you today. Do you ever take yourself out on a Date? If you have answered YES kudos to you! If you have answered NO Here is a few reasons why you should pull out your calendar today and make a date with yourself.

We as humans are constantly on the move. We always have our phones in our hands and remain connected to social media and news happening 24/7 around us. We have become so disconnected from ourselves that we lose a sense of humanity, intimacy, kindness, love, and empathy. We become overwhelmed and exhausted. Did you know the Brain consumes about 20% of your body’s energy during the day. When we “disconnect” or allow ourselves downtime we allow our brain to rest and regroup. Which helps us out in the long run to be able to come back to a problem and find a better solution.

When you Date Yourself you rediscover who you are as a person, and what types of things you find stimulating. You get to know yourself all over again. In finding a quiet place to hangout with yourself you have a chance to emotionally check-in with your goals in life and see how far you have come as to where you want to be. Your Relationship status should not impact setting up “Me Time”. Relationships where both parties take time out alone have reported less stress and better communication between them.

Dating yourself can be something as simple as:

Having lunch alone

A Bubble Bath- Candles, Bath Bombs and a HOT playlist

Going to see a New Movie – Sometimes you just need a good laugh

Taking a Yoga Class- This will help you become more emotionally present in yourself.

GO for a nature Hike,- the fresh air and vitamin D is so good for combating depression.

Treat yourself to a Manicure, Pedicure, Facial, Massage

Journal alone- write a love letter to yourself, and talk about the things you do or have done to be happy.

Masturbate – Might sound a little crazy however Orgasms are so good for the body. When we masturbate we release the feel good chemicals and hormones our bodies need.

When a man masturbates the chemicals released in his brain are: norepinephrine,serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide (NO), and the hormone prolactin

Norepinephrine is a stress hormone that encourages the fight or flight response in the body. Kick starting sexual activity. Serotonin is the feel good hormone which helps the body to relax after an orgasm. Oxytocin is the loving/ Bliss hormone we release as we fall in love, go into labor, or maintain eye contact with the opposite sex for longer than 10 seconds. The Human body is such an incredible study.

When a woman masturbates it increases her estrogen levels and releases oxytocin which combats cortisol (which is the main stress hormone) in the body.

The important thing to remember here is you need time and space with yourself to reconnect. To rest and relax.

In closing this blog post I want you to start thinking of a couple of places you would like to treat yourself to go to. Then look over your calendar and start putting your plan in action. I would love for you to write back let me know where you went. How is made you feel and what your enjoyed most about this experience.

Have a Great Day,

~Amanda

How to Introduce Sex Toys into Your Relationship

How to Introduce Sex Toys into Your Relationship

This is one of the MOST common questions I receive as an Adult Toy Educator. It doesn’t matter if you have been in your relationship for a few months or many years, Introducing Sex Toys into Your Relationship brings in a whole new way to have fun with your partner.

 

The first point I always make VERY CLEAR

 

“Sex Toys were never created to replace your partner, they were Only created to enhance your sexual experience.”

 

Contrary to popular belief,  Sex Toys Date back as early as the caveman days. Ancient phallic shaped dildos made of stone, wood and even Jade have been found all over the world. It was said Queen Cleopatra would fill a small glass tube will bees and seal it creating a “vibrating sensation for self pleasure” The first vibrator to use electricity was created in the mid 1800 by physicians in hopes of curing women of hysteria. If you would like to dive deeper into this subject please feel free to  Peruse my pinterest board The History of Sex Toys..

Back to Modern Day

Sex Toys are never meant to replace your partner in anyway shape or form, it is about building a stronger connection as a couple. Bottom line Physical touch & communication is the ultimate goal to build intimacy in your relationship.

Next, I strongly recommend sitting down with your partner and opening a line of communication about this.  This is not a subject I recommend having  right after sex. This is a conversation that should be had over a warm meal together during a date night or couple time where you have the chance to sit and focus on each other without the distraction of children, animals, phones or anything else.  Somewhere  where it’s easy to breath and talk freely  where “ I “statements would serve best.

 

Some great ways to start the conversation might be as simple as:

  • I read this Blog Post about Sex Toys and I am interested in trying out something new with you. Then have them also read this Blog Post ( Sharing is caring, unless it itches or burns right … lol)
  • I took this Mojo Quiz and I want to compare notes with you. (the great thing about this quiz is you answer a group of questions about what type of sexual play you would be interested in exploring. You then pass this on to you partner, they answer the same group of questions then at the end your final mutual results will be displayed. If either of you answer with a strong No to any of the questions then it will not show up as a possible sex fantasy you would be open to exploring.)
  • I would really enjoy trying out a new form of stimulation by trying out something like this…

 

Once you have had the conversation ( and hopefully taken the quiz above) and both of you are ready for playtime. I recommend exploring the different types of touch both with and without the use of Sex Toys. It important to maintain a healthy connection to your partner. One the biggest concerns Males have about using Sex Toys with their partners is that their partner will prefer the Sex Toy over playing with them. IF this is a concern in your relationship it needs to be addressed, both partners need to talk about ways of enjoying Sex and their connection both with the Sex Toy and without it. Which brings me to my next point which is physical touch and how to connect with your lover.

The Joy in Thriving Sensual, Sexual and Intimate Touch

We as humans Crave Sensual, Sexual and Intimate Touch, it is what nourishes our bodies and fuels our souls. How many of you have heard of the Failure to Thrive Study ? This study has taught us we need physical touch to grow, to develop and Thrive. When we are living in an environment where no physical touch exist we quickly decline. We crave to know the most intimate parts of not only ourselves but each other as well. When we put our hands on each others bodies the vibration changes within our palms as we FEEL our partner beneath our gentle touch.

To sensually touch your lover is to explore parts of their body in a non sexual yet connecting way. A really fantastic way to practice Sensual Touch is by taking an Acro Yoga or Partner Yoga Class together. If you would like to explore Acroyoga Please see my fellow adult toy eduator and mentor’s  facebook page for a better understanding of it at Inverted Play.  It teaches you how to hold your partner, to touch their body in a close and connecting fashion without it being sexual. As a woman to lay my hips across the soles of my husbands feet and have him lift me high in the air, to feel supported to invert my upper body and reverse the blood flow is incredible.  I trust his body to keep mine safe. I challenge you to explore this idea in your relationship as well.

 

Another way to practice Sensual Touch  is with Sizzle Lips which is a warming edible massage oil you may spread anywhere over your lovers body. ( I would strongly recommend keeping this item out and away from the vagina and urethra opening). It gets warm with friction so the more you rub Sizzle Lips into the skin the warmer it will get. Then if you stop and blow on their body “Sizzle Lips” will heat up even more. Sizzle Lips is also edible so you can use your tongue to play around with the different textures. Try to make your tongue have a hard point at the tip  v.s having a full flate surface. Which does your Lover prefer?  If the  idea of edible products  does not sound appealing to you , then maybe practice with a  Scandle Candle It is a soy based scented wax. The great part about Soy based wax is it burns at a much lower temperature so the risk of it burning your skin is next to none when used properly. Lit the wick for the scandale candle  and give it a few mins to melt the desired amount of wax, then blow out the flame and slowly, gently pour wax over your lover’s back, legs, and arms. For ideas of how to pour or play with wax see my pinterest board for Candle Wax Adventures.

 

When using Sex Toys for Sensual Touch I recommend starting small with a non phallic shaped toys like the  Embrace My Wand  practice turning this Sex Toy on and running it across the shoulders & neck. Practice using this Sex Toy to run down the arms and around the belly button, watch the way your lover’s body responds to its different vibration patterns.

 

After you both have practiced Sensual Touch with your Sex Toy take it a step further and graduate to practicing with Sexual Touch. Sexual Touch means to stimulate all of those erogenous zones for sexual pleasure.

One of the biggest complaints i often hear from both sexes is they feel like a piece of meat being grabbed. Build your foreplay skills by building hypersensitivity around the act of what you’re about to do. Trace your lovers beautiful lips, trace the outer line of the areola. Slowly practice touching different area of your lover’s body.  After you have found comfort in practicing using your Embrace My Wand it’s time to explore other types of Sex Toys. This is also a great time to Practice with Mutual Masturbation. (Will be creating this next blog post soon until then please visit this youtube video I collaborated on called Naughty Bites with D. J. Meares. In this video we talk about how the 50 Shades of Grey Series has affected women to help them find sexual liberation. In this episode I talk about what mutual masturbation is and why it is so important to practice with your partner.) Upgrading to a different type of Sex Toy like the We-Vibe 4 Plus which has a remote and also has an app you download to your smart phone. The app can be used anywhere  your phone has wifi service. The We-Vibe 4 Plus can also be used for solo stimulation for her, or during interecourse. The We-Vibe 4 Plus is made from a medical grade silicone, and has a larger spoon shape for better g spot stimulation.

Sex Toy for Date Night

Another great Sex Toy to checkout is the Club Vibe, which is vibrating panties. Just imagine you’re out in public at one of your favorite restaurants. It’s a really busy night and then your partner turns on the remote. Would you be able to maintain your composure while they play with the 5 different speeds? WHat about when they use the microphone feature and actually talk to your vagina at the dinner table… Super naughty.

We have covered Edible and non edible Sex Toys we have also covered a couple of great vibrators But, what about BDSM? (again I will recommend the youtube video Naughty Bits by D.J. Meares where we talk about what is true BDSM.)

 

BDSM = Bondage/Discipline Sadism/Masochism

What most people do not realize about BDSM is it exist in every single relationship you are currently involved into some variable degree. BDSM is the beautiful exchange of trust and consent in a relationship. Here is my humble, and very best explanation to make BDSM relatable for most. Taking off my hat as an adult toy educator and putting on the hat of wife. Snap shot: It is the end of a very long day at work.

What does this phone call home look and sound like?  Him: “ Hey Honey, it’s been a hell of a day. Im tired and Im coming home” Me” Ok what would you like for dinner?” Him: “ I do not care you pick, I am to tired to think”

Bam!!! It just happened did you see it? The foundation of trust in our relationship as wife  I know what his comfort foods are, What makes his heart and belly full when he is emotionally exhausted. He trust that at the end of the day I will not feed him something weird or harmful and he gave consent for me to make a choice for him.

THAT is true BDSM When you have trust in a relationship, you’re able to explore a sexual fantasy in a safe environment with someone you know at the end of the experience will keep you safe.

 

How do you introduce BDSM style Toys?

I recommend starting with a blindfold first, practice a small sensory deprivation like removing sight, then as you both build comfort grow from it. Try out a pair of handcuffs or if you’re really feeling adventurous… Try out the Doorplay kit. This one has a special place in my heart. When I first started in my career in Adult Toy education I would bring the Doorplay it to every in home party. I would set it up and find a woman or man to volunteer to be tied to the door, blindfolded and gently flogged on the arms and legs. Building up and decreasing speeds creating a hypersensitivity in the skin for the sense of touch by removing the sense of sight.

 

Sex is so much more than just a simple F&*K. Sex is intimate, it’s emotional and deep it also has its seasons.  Every relationship has its seasons for change. Always remember to find a way to connect and make it hot!! Thank you for reading this article I hope it helps you to explore new ideas in your relationship.

 

How To Choose the Right Vibrator for You

How to Choose the Right Vibrator for You

How do you know Which Vibrator is Right for You? This Blog will break down Choosing  This is hands down the single most asked question Ias an Adult Toy Educator. The answer can be broken down into 4 Parts:

  • Type of Desired Stimulation
  • Solo Play V.S Partner Play
  • Materials in the Products
  • Budget Friendly

Let’s look over a few types of stimulation. Stimulation can arise from any of the senses. The delicate visual foreplay of a dimly candle-lit room, to the sounds of silky sheets being drawn back. Perhaps it’s your partner’s scent as your warm bodies draw closer, or the soft caress of the last touch long after sex is over. We have a very wide range of sexual stimulation based off just our 5 senses alone.

With so many delicious ways to stimulate the body, we must first decide what the desired effect is.  Which part of the body are you most interested stimulating? Is this new toy going to be used for solo play or to play with a partner? Regarding sex toys for a woman: Is this toy going to serve a Clitoral Stimulation, Vaginal Stimulation or Anal Stimulation?

Did you know roughly 85 % of women are unable to climax from sexual intercourse alone? Us women need time to allow our bodies to warm up. We need to let our bodies and our minds build excitement from within, allowing the natural juices time to follow. (It’s like riding a bicycle; sometimes we do need a little nudge.)

To get my clients thinking about these things, I have a few questions I like to ask them when we first sit down.

  1. When you masturbate, what really gets your juices flowing most?
  2. Is it a penetrating or pressure sensation on your clitoris, or is it more of a pulling sucking sensation?
  3. For vaginal play is it the deeper thrusting feeling? Or is it the circular massaging sensation?
  4. Regarding anal stimulation: is it small massaging around the exterior or small, medium or larger penetration?

Deciding which of these you enjoy most will really help you to start eliminating the many choices available in today’s market. Once you’ve eliminated that you don’t like, you can continue exploring what you do. There is a wide array of options for every answer to every question I’ve asked. There are high end model, as well as budget friendly options that most certainly still get the job done.

30 Ways to Build Intimacy In Your Relationship

30 Ways to
Build Intimacy
In Your Relationship

  1. Touch Each Other Daily- It does not really matter where you touch, just a gentle daily connection.
  2. Take a Shower Together- The concept of being naked and grooming each other’s body is extremely bonding.
  3. Leave them a Post- It Note- Just a small little note somewhere you know they will find it.
  4. Turn Off Your Phones- Plan on turning your phones off for at least tw hours every week.
  5. Sleep Naked Together- The pheromones you release during sleep are intoxicating to your partner.
  6. Share a Sexual Fantasy- Sit down with your Partner and talk about different fantasies you’ve had. Maybe they would be interested
  7. Role Playing you never know if you never ask.
  8. Plan a Manicure/Pedicure/Massage Date- Little self care together goes a long way.
  9. Flirt with Each Other- Release those feel good hormones Flirt be silly laugh together.
  10. Take care of one or more of the Household Chores for your Partner- A little kindness goes a long way after a long day at work.
  11. Send Your Partner Flowers- The aroma of fresh cut flowers are such a sweet treat.
  12. Spontaneous Lunch Date- Go pickup your Partner and randomly find a quick adventure for lunch.
  13. Chocolate Chip Challenge- Practice throwing Chocolate Chips into your Partner’s Mouth.
  14. Update your Intimacy Box- Send them a link for a new Sex Toy you would be willing to tryout.
  15. Side with Your Partner- When a squabble comes up show unity and side with your partner.
  16. Compliment Your Partner – In front of their peers, coworkers, family and friends.
  17. Send Your Partner a Dirty Text Message- Make sure you send a NSFW warning.. Then send them a naughty little text to let them know you’re thinking about them.
  18. Make a Warm meal for your Partner- Make a favorite comfort food just because you care.
  19. Look thru Old Photos Together- Sit back and reflect on the life you both have built together.
  20. Take them on a Special Getaway- Just the two of you to rest and reconnect.
  21. Display a Fun Little Welcome Home Banner- Celebrate their Homecoming.
  22. Lie Down In Bed Together- Share a close space and stare into each other’s eyes for 1 FULL MIN. How do you both feel afterwards?
  23. Pull the Covers Over your Bed in Bed- Have a private conversation under your favorite blanket.
  24. SNUGGLE TIME!!- Watch a movie together on the couch and snuggle up close during the movie.
  25. Make out Like Horny Teenagers again- Come HERE BABY!! Have a Hot and Heavy making session, hot breathe, heavy petting.
  26. French Kiss- Learn & Practice a new technique for Making Out.
  27. Embrace & Hug for 1 FULL MIN DAILY- Again inhale those delicious Pheromones your Partner is putting off.
  28. Laugh together- Find a movie or Comedy Club and share a laugh together.
  29. Greet Your Partner when they Come Home- Make a big deal about them coming home from a long day at work, Tell them how much you missed them.
  30. Be Curious, Ask Questions- What projects are hey working on. Engage in an open line of communication and check in with them daily.
    Create New Memories together- Find an Adventure together.
    Add your own Ideas and keep this list going….